OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
