the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
