Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
