I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
