is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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