if i can run in heels then i can drive
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
