Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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