I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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