Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
