Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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