he thought i was a dude.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
