btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
