was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Randomize
