fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
