why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
