Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
