i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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