Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
