I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
