coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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