bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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