blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
