so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
