Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
