Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
