if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
