I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
