Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
