Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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