So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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