I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
