I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
