Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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