If that was your dad, he is hot
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
