Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
