Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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