is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
