it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
