Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Do you still have your period?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
