put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
