He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Four minutes until I can fart!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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