he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
