you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
