Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
He has the fingertips of a God
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
