DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
