I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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