CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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