Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
