so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
This is the prime rib incident all over again
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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