He had one of those small greek statue penises
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
